KITCHEN TABLE PHILOSOPHY
I love that poetry-writing moment when you're uncertain about how the poem is going to end and then you write a phrase that just does it for you. Like your one true love, an Aha! moment will just come without you having to seek it.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Dwellers In The Discomfort Zone
There are those who dwell in unpleasant experiences probably because the uncertainty of what's outside the box is more terrifying. What these dwellers do not realize is that they are also admitting to themselves that things could be worse! This realization helped me understand why having an artist's thought process is so effective in the helping professions. Therapists, like artists, find creative ways of communicating simply because we think unconventionally when an otherwise hopeless situation arises. It's our job to recreate, reframe, and reform. Perhaps, this is the proverbial angst that we artists- and some therapists- are reputed to have. Personally, I believe it's this angst, discomfort, crisis- call it what you will- that has provided the fuel for change in my life. Positive change.
There is nothing special about me. People seem to think that being creative or resilient is something a chosen few are born with. Personally, I believe it's a matter of admitting when the comfort zone is beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. When anxiety and anger begin to take over, take that as a signal that it's time for change. Resist the urge to get caught in a feedback loop of negativity. Talk to people who enlighten rather than enable. There's a fine, fragile line between validation and enabling. Give a defined time limit to catharsis then give yourself a chance to take in new information. It's like breathing. Breathing keeps us alive and being alive means that there is always a chance to change.
Monday, October 15, 2012
I Pray
Two Chairs For Yourself
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
The Decision Prayer
On Emulsification and Transition
The key is to making a good emulsification is combining two quality ingredients that stand well on their own together. The combination of those two ingredients is excellent but, eventually, they need to separate again and go back to their old properties. A lot like human beings. Some of us are just better off being the way we are. Some of us eccentric ones need to be undiluted by the norms of society. That's one thing they don't tell us when we decide to tie the knot. Justifying separation? I'm not answering a hesitant "maybe" but a resounding "yes".
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Confusion Philosophy
When you’re 40, confusion is called “coming to a crossroads” in your life. Therapists might even give you a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. There’s no excuse for not knowing what to do at this point especially after years of trying to decide what your calling is. In my case, I spent the last three years thinking that I had finally found my calling as a counseling psychologist. It seemed to have taken me a lifetime to realize it and I spent too much time regretting not seeing it from the very beginning. It took all of those three years to make a shift in my way of thinking and to stop blaming others for my own mishaps. I was sucked in by existential philosophy and decided that I would live being true to myself and to my purpose. So I graduated with an MS in Counseling and had a long range plan for myself and I was finally on my way to achieving what I had come to the United States for in the first place. I was still at the right developmental stage- so my textbooks had said. I was specializing and becoming an expert at what I had set out to do. Or so I thought. I wasn’t expecting a random, impulsive moment to create a window of opportunity for something I had yet to do for myself. It was my chance to go back home but that would mean risking everything I had worked so hard for. I did it anyway.
Today, I’m back where I said I would never be. It's been over three years since my last blog entry and I feel like I am reliving that rock-bottom moment. I made the decision to change my life to get out of a toxic situation. Now I feel like karma has beat my thoughts and the joke's on me.
Staying where I was meant living with what I don’t really care to describe given the disturbing images it might leave in a person’s memory. (That would be the subject of a different blog.) Coming home, would mean going back to square one and giving up a certain amount of freedom.There's no telling what will be better for me and my children. However, at the semi-ripe age of 42, I should really know better. That every decision I make is neither right nor wrong but comes with heavy baggage of its own. The key is to make one, be prepared for the consequences, and make the most of it.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Untitled Quote Number 1
Too much of a self-centered attitude creates mistrust and suspicion in others, which can in turn lead to fear. But if you have more of an open mind, and you cultivate a sense of concern for others' well-being, then, no matter what others' attitudes are, you can keep your inner peace.